Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Bagong Taon na, Saan nga ba ako napunta?

Malapit na ang paglisan ng 2010 at isang bagong taon na naman ang darating. Isang taon na naman ang lumipas, saan na nga ba ako ngayon? Sa bawat taon, madami ako nakikita, nakikilala. Madami-dami din akong nasagap na mga tsismis at naikwento sa ibang tao. Isang taon din ang ginugol ko upang maging ganap na tao ako. Nilalang na masasabing nagkasilbi din kahit na papaano.

Isang bagong taon. Isang malaking pagsubok.

Enero noon. Unang beses kong mawalan ng trabaho. Hindi dahil nagresign ako o naterminate, kundi dahil nagsara ang kumpanyang aking pinagtatrabahuhan. Masaklap ang pasok ng taong 2010 sa akin, pero dahil din doon, ako’y nagkaroon ng madaming kaibigan. Sila ang naging sandigan ko. Isang grupo naming tinawid ang hamon ng buhay habang papasok ang taon.

Naging masama man ang pasok ng taong ating lilisanin, isang magandang simula naman ang aking natagpuan sa piling ng mga bagong kaibigan.Gayunpaman, sa aming dinanas, naging mas matatag kami at sabay-sabay na nagpapalakasan ng loob kahit kitang-kita ang sakit ng pakakawalay sa isa’t isa.

Isang panibagong trabaho. Mga bagong kakilala.

Ako man ay nawalan, di ako tumigil sa paghahanap ng dapat kong kalagyan. Isang kumpanya nag tumanggap sa akin. Maswerte nga ata ako. Di naman sa pagmamayabang, pero di ako masasabing nawawalan ako ng trabaho. Laging may panibagong trabahong naghihintay sa akin. Tama nga siguro ang sinasabi ng horoscope ko. Maswerte ang Aries ngayong taon.

Sa isang call center sa Junction ang tumanggap sa akin ng walang kahirap-hirap. Mga bagong kakilala na naman. Isang masayang barkadahan. May isang ulirang ina. Isang martyr na asawa. Isang pilantropo. Isang galing Afghanistan. Isang totoy-look. Mga die-hard fans ng Twilight Saga. At isang Shrek. Naging kaagapay ko sila sa mga pagsubok kahit na sabihin natin na ilang buwan lang.

Nagkahiwa-hiwalay kami. Napunta sa iba-ibang account. Madami ulit ako nakatagpong mga bagong kaibigan. Masasabi kong mayaman na ako sa kaibigan. Mga walang-hiya kong kaibigan na nagpapasaya sa akin hanggang sa mga huling araw ko na kasama sila. Panay man ang asar nila sa akin, naging kampante naman ako na hindi nila ako iiwan. Maraming salamat.

Paalam, aking pilantropng kaibigan.

Unang beses kong dumalaw sa burol ng isang malapit na kaibigan. Ang taong 2010 ang nagpalasap sa akin ng tamis at pait ng buhay. Isang kaibigan ang pumanaw. Kaibigang naging isang malaking MORAL LESSON para sa amin lahat. Isang kaibigang sa kabila ng mga dagok sa buhay ay patuloy pa rin sa paglaban hanggang sa huli para sa ikabubuti ng kanyang pamilya. Isang ama at asawa na kahit nahihirapan ay patuloy na nakikipaglaban sa maraming pagsubok.

Palatawa. Isang kaibigang masasaldalan sa oras ng kalbaryo. Isang mapagmahal na asawa, ama at anak. Kuya, alam kong nasa isang magandang lugar ka na ngayon. Wag kang mag-alala. Kahit saan kami magpunta, kasama ka sa aming mga dasal. Maraming salamat sa isang nakabubusog na experience kasama ka.

Tatay, Mahal na mahal kita.

Sa taong 2010, nawala ang isa sa pinakaimportanteng tao sa aming mga buhay. Ang tatay. Tahimik siyang pumanaw. Isang nakagugulat na pangyayari na ikinalungkot ng buong angkan. Ni hindi ko man lang siya nasilayan bago pa man siya mawala sa mundo. Hanggang ngayon ay pinagsisisihan ko na hindi ko man lang siya nayakap bago pa man siya tumawid sa tulay ng nagliliwanag na lugar.

Tatay, di man kita nayakap sa huling pagkakataon, palagi ka naman nasa puso ko. Salamat sa mga aral. Mahal na mahal kita.

Lucky, isa kang tunay na kaibigan.

2010 din nang mawala ang isa sa pinakaloyal na kaibigang aming nakilala. Si Lucky-isang aso. Oo. Ilang taon din namin siya inalagaan. Itinuring na kapamilya. Ngunit sa isang iglap, siya’y namaalam sa akin.

Sa dami ng aming pinagdaanan, nauna na siya bumigay. Ngunit sa huli niyang hininga, tinitigan niya ako at alam ko, siya ay namamaalam na.

Isang masayang samahan kasama ang isang masayang grupo.

Bagong pamilya ang aking natagpuan sa piling ng aking mga bagong katrabaho. Mga kalog kahit sa umipisa ay tatahitahimik lang. Magugulo. Maiingay. Masasaya kasama. May mga green-minded. May isang kaibagang college ko pa kakilala. May isang puro Hello Kitty at itim na damit ang gusto, may isang tampulan ng asaran dahil sa kanyang pinanggalingan. Isang masayang barkadahan. Kasama sa kulitan, ingayan at biritan. Ang nagpapagaan sa mga oras na nakakabagot at trabahong nakakapagod.Isang pamilya na di alintana ang kahihiyan dahil higit pa sa kaibigan ang turingan. Salamat sa isang masayang year-ender mga friends. Sa susunod na taon ulit. Isang bagsak ng palakpak para sa ating lahat!

Sari-saring balita. Iba-ibang kakilala.

Ikinasal na si ganito. Nagkaanak na si ganyan. Samu’t saring kwento ang nasagap ko sa taong ito. Dala na din siguro ng dami ng aking kakilala, naging ordinaryo na lang sa akin ang ganyang mga kwento. Masaya ako para sa kanila. Alam kong masaya naman sila sa kanilang piniling landas.

Di ako naniniwala sa Horoscope ni Madam Auring dahil alam ko na tao din ang gumagawa ng kanyang kapalaran. ‘Sang taon ng iba’t ibang karanasan man ang aking nalampasan, isang batalyon naman ng kaibigan ang aking natagpuan. Di man ako mayaman sa salapi, naging mayaman naman ako sa kaibigan. Isang taon na pinuno ng pagmamahal at batian.

Isang panghabambuhay na pagmamahalan.

Sa likod ko, may isang nakasalo. Ang aking John Lloyd. Ang nagagalit sa akin kapag di ako nagdadala ng jacket sa opisina pero di ako matiis kapag ako ay nagkakasakit. Ang isang tao, bukod sa aking pamilya na di nagsasawang magpaalala na may karamay at kakampi ako sa oras ng kagipitan. Ang nagpapasaya sa akin pag ako ay nalulungkot gamit ang kanyang pamatay na mga joke na kahit corny ay natatawa naman ako. Di siya nagsasawang asarin ako dahil sa taba na aking naipon sa buong taon, pero lagi pa din pinapaalala na maganda pa rin ako at mahal na mahal pa din ako kahit ako pa pinakamatabang tao sa mundo. Mahal na mahal din kita. Salamat sa isang bonggang-bonggang pagmamahal na iyong pinaramdam sa akin.

Ang aking pamilya na laging andyan magunaw man ang mundo. Tinatanggap ako kahit na ako na ang lumalayo. Mga kapatid kong ubod ng sutil pero mahal na mahal ko. Mga magulang na pinapatnubayan ako kahit nagpapasaway ako. Kayo ang sandalan ko kapag nahihirapan na ako sa buhay. Sila ang vitamins ko pag ako’y nanghihina na. Mga taong iba-iba man ang ugali, habambuhay ko naman mamahalin.

Isang huling sulyap sa iyo, 2010.

Ang taon na ito ay aking lilisanin ng may isang batalyon ng sandata. Mga kaibigan kakilala at kapamilya. Isang taong nagmamahal mula pa nung mga nakalipas na apat na taon. Sila ang bumuo ng aking 2010. Lilisanin man natin ang taong ito, habambuhay naman natin itatatak sa ating isipan ang isang masayang samahan na di kailanma’y maaagaw sa atin. Sama-sama natin sasalubungin ang isa pang taon ng may pag-asa at pagmamahal sa isa’t isa.

Maraming salamat 2010 sa mga kaibigan na iyong binigay. Si 2011 na ang susunod. Nawa’y maging makabuluhan din ito katulad mo. Paalam at salamat.

Buong pusong nagpapasalamat,

Joanne Marie Punzalan Y Bravo, 2010

Thursday, December 23, 2010

There You Are.

Today is Christmas Eve. For sure madaming tao ang magsisipuntahan sa mga mall at tiangge para mag last minute shopping. Christmas rush.

For some reasons, I didn't expect Christmas to be like this. Working on a Christmas Eve. That's new. When I was younger, I don't have to work. It's Christmas break for schools so children will have time to hunt down their godparents for some presents and good stuffs this Christmas. Now, it's not the same. I'm working and it my turn to give gifts to my godchildren. *old age*

The magical theme of Christmas is perhaps strictly for children only. They are the ones enjoying the gifts and food while adults are thinking of the things to prepare for Noche Buena and gifts to wrap for their friends, relatives and godchildren.

Today, I don't have to do something. I just need to go to work so I will not require myself to work on Monday. (Though I am thinking of going to work because of double pay priviledges. hahaha)

Later at 12mn, it will be Christmas. I have to wait for my godchildren to come to our house so I could give them thier gifts. Tiring job of being an adult.

Adulthood. Quater life crisis. Maybe this is it. Maybe I am also experiencing it today. The denial and frustrations. The what if's questions. Maybe this is it.

The drill of Christmas changes as we grow older. Although the spark of magic has gone, we have this mature understanding that Christmas is when Jesus was born to save mankind from sins.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The True Story Behind A Fairy Tale: "The Little Mermaid"

I was curious about my friend's status in Facebook about the true story behind the famous fairy tale of The Little Mermaid so I began to search the internet and read the story.

All of a sudden, the fairy tale adored all my childhood disappeared like a foam. Read on.

Far out in the ocean the water is as blue as the petals of the loveliest cornflower, and as clear as the purest glass. But it is very deep too. It goes down deeper than any anchor rope will go, and many, many steeples would have to be stacked one on top of another to reach from the bottom to the surface of the sea. It is down there that the sea folk live.

Now don't suppose that there are only bare white sands at the bottom of the sea. No indeed! The most marvelous trees and flowers grow down there, with such pliant stalks and leaves that the least stir in the water makes them move about as though they were alive. All sorts of fish, large and small, dart among the branches, just as birds flit through the trees up here. From the deepest spot in the ocean rises the palace of the sea king. Its walls are made of coral and its high pointed windows of the clearest amber, but the roof is made of mussel shells that open and shut with the tide. This is a wonderful sight to see, for every shell holds glistening pearls, any one of which would be the pride of a queen's crown.

The sea king down there had been a widower for years, and his old mother kept house for him. She was a clever woman, but very proud of her noble birth. Therefore she flaunted twelve oysters on her tail while the other ladies of the court were only allowed to wear six. Except for this she was an altogether praiseworthy person, particularly so because she was extremely fond of her granddaughters, the little sea princesses. They were six lovely girls, but the youngest was the most beautiful of them all. Her skin was as soft and tender as a rose petal, and her eyes were as blue as the deep sea, but like all the others she had no feet. Her body ended in a fish tail.

The whole day long they used to play in the palace, down in the great halls where live flowers grew on the walls. Whenever the high amber windows were thrown open the fish would swim in, just as swallows dart into our rooms when we open the windows. But these fish, now, would swim right up to the little princesses to eat out of their hands and let themselves be petted.

Outside the palace was a big garden, with flaming red and deep-blue trees. Their fruit glittered like gold, and their blossoms flamed like fire on their constantly waving stalks. The soil was very fine sand indeed, but as blue as burning brimstone. A strange blue veil lay over everything down there. You would have thought yourself aloft in the air with only the blue sky above and beneath you, rather than down at the bottom of the sea. When there was a dead calm, you could just see the sun, like a scarlet flower with light streaming from its calyx.

Each little princess had her own small garden plot, where she could dig and plant whatever she liked. One of them made her little flower bed in the shape of a whale, another thought it neater to shape hers like a little mermaid, but the youngest of them made hers as round as the sun, and there she grew only flowers which were as red as the sun itself. She was an unusual child, quiet and wistful, and when her sisters decorated their gardens with all kinds of odd things they had found in sunken ships, she would allow nothing in hers except flowers as red as the sun, and a pretty marble statue. This figure of a handsome boy, carved in pure white marble, had sunk down to the bottom of the sea from some ship that was wrecked. Beside the statue she planted a rose-colored weeping willow tree, which thrived so well that its graceful branches shaded the statue and hung down to the blue sand, where their shadows took on a violet tint, and swayed as the branches swayed. It looked as if the roots and the tips of the branches were kissing each other in play.

Nothing gave the youngest princess such pleasure as to hear about the world of human beings up above them. Her old grandmother had to tell her all she knew about ships and cities, and of people and animals. What seemed nicest of all to her was that up on land the flowers were fragrant, for those at the bottom of the sea had no scent. And she thought it was nice that the woods were green, and that the fish you saw among their branches could sing so loud and sweet that it was delightful to hear them. Her grandmother had to call the little birds "fish," or the princess would not have known what she was talking about, for she had never seen a bird.

"When you get to be fifteen," her grandmother said, "you will be allowed to rise up out of the ocean and sit on the rocks in the moonlight, to watch the great ships sailing by. You will see woods and towns, too."

Next year one of her sisters would be fifteen, but the others - well, since each was a whole year older than the next the youngest still had five long years to wait until she could rise up from the water and see what our world was like. But each sister promised to tell the others about all that she saw, and what she found most marvelous on her first day. Their grandmother had not told them half enough, and there were so many thing that they longed to know about.

The most eager of them all was the youngest, the very one who was so quiet and wistful. Many a night she stood by her open window and looked up through the dark blue water where the fish waved their fins and tails. She could just see the moon and stars. To be sure, their light was quite dim, but looked at through the water they seemed much bigger than they appear to us. Whenever a cloud-like shadow swept across them, she knew that it was either a whale swimming overhead, or a ship with many human beings aboard it. Little did they dream that a pretty young mermaid was down below, stretching her white arms up toward the keel of their ship.

The eldest princess had her fifteenth birthday, so now she received permission to rise up out of the water. When she got back she had a hundred things to tell her sisters about, but the most marvelous thing of all, she said, was to lie on a sand bar in the moonlight, when the sea was calm, and to gaze at the large city on the shore, where the lights twinkled like hundreds of stars; to listen to music; to hear the chatter and clamor of carriages and people; to see so many church towers and spires; and to hear the ringing bells. Because she could not enter the city, that was just what she most dearly longed to do.

Oh, how intently the youngest sister listened. After this, whenever she stood at her open window at night and looked up through the dark blue waters, she thought of that great city with all of its clatter and clamor, and even fancied that in these depths she could hear the church bells ring.

The next year, her second sister had permission to rise up to the surface and swim wherever she pleased. She came up just at sunset, and she said that this spectacle was the most marvelous sight she had ever seen. The heavens had a golden glow, and as for the clouds - she could not find words to describe their beauty. Splashed with red and tinted with violet, they sailed over her head. But much faster than the sailing clouds were wild swans in a flock. Like a long white veil trailing above the sea, they flew toward the setting sun. She too swam toward it, but down it went, and all the rose-colored glow faded from the sea and sky.

The following year, her third sister ascended, and as she was the boldest of them all she swam up a broad river that flowed into the ocean. She saw gloriously green, vine-colored hills. Palaces and manor houses could be glimpsed through the splendid woods. She heard all the birds sing, and the sun shone so brightly that often she had to dive under the water to cool her burning face. In a small cove she found a whole school of mortal children, paddling about in the water quite naked. She wanted to play with them, but they took fright and ran away. Then along came a little black animal - it was a dog, but she had never seen a dog before. It barked at her so ferociously that she took fright herself, and fled to the open sea. But never could she forget the splendid woods, the green hills, and the nice children who could swim in the water although they didn't wear fish tails.

The fourth sister was not so venturesome. She stayed far out among the rough waves, which she said was a marvelous place. You could see all around you for miles and miles, and the heavens up above you were like a vast dome of glass. She had seen ships, but they were so far away that they looked like sea gulls. Playful dolphins had turned somersaults, and monstrous whales had spouted water through their nostrils so that it looked as if hundreds of fountains were playing all around them.

Now the fifth sister had her turn. Her birthday came in the wintertime, so she saw things that none of the others had seen. The sea was a deep green color, and enormous icebergs drifted about. Each one glistened like a pearl, she said, but they were more lofty than any church steeple built by man. They assumed the most fantastic shapes, and sparkled like diamonds. She had seated herself on the largest one, and all the ships that came sailing by sped away as soon as the frightened sailors saw her there with her long hair blowing in the wind.

In the late evening clouds filled the sky. Thunder cracked and lightning darted across the heavens. Black waves lifted those great bergs of ice on high, where they flashed when the lightning struck.

On all the ships the sails were reefed and there was fear and trembling. But quietly she sat there, upon her drifting iceberg, and watched the blue forked lightning strike the sea.

Each of the sisters took delight in the lovely new sights when she first rose up to the surface of the sea. But when they became grown-up girls, who were allowed to go wherever they liked, they became indifferent to it. They would become homesick, and in a month they said that there was no place like the bottom of the sea, where they felt so completely at home.

On many an evening the older sisters would rise to the surface, arm in arm, all five in a row. They had beautiful voices, more charming than those of any mortal beings. When a storm was brewing, and they anticipated a shipwreck, they would swim before the ship and sing most seductively of how beautiful it was at the bottom of the ocean, trying to overcome the prejudice that the sailors had against coming down to them. But people could not understand their song, and mistook it for the voice of the storm. Nor was it for them to see the glories of the deep. When their ship went down they were drowned, and it was as dead men that they reached the sea king's palace.

On the evenings when the mermaids rose through the water like this, arm in arm, their youngest sister stayed behind all alone, looking after them and wanting to weep. But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more.

"Oh, how I do wish I were fifteen!" she said. "I know I shall love that world up there and all the people who live in it."

And at last she too came to be fifteen.

"Now I'll have you off my hands," said her grandmother, the old queen dowager. "Come, let me adorn you like your sisters." In the little maid's hair she put a wreath of white lilies, each petal of which was formed from half of a pearl. And the old queen let eight big oysters fasten themselves to the princess's tail, as a sign of her high rank.

"But that hurts!" said the little mermaid.

"You must put up with a good deal to keep up appearances," her grandmother told her.

Oh, how gladly she would have shaken off all these decorations, and laid aside the cumbersome wreath! The red flowers in her garden were much more becoming to her, but she didn't dare to make any changes. "Good-by," she said, and up she went through the water, as light and as sparkling as a bubble.

The sun had just gone down when her head rose above the surface, but the clouds still shone like gold and roses, and in the delicately tinted sky sparkled the clear gleam of the evening star. The air was mild and fresh and the sea unruffled. A great three-master lay in view with only one of all its sails set, for there was not even the whisper of a breeze, and the sailors idled about in the rigging and on the yards. There was music and singing on the ship, and as night came on they lighted hundreds of such brightly colored lanterns that one might have thought the flags of all nations were swinging in the air.

The little mermaid swam right up to the window of the main cabin, and each time she rose with the swell she could peep in through the clear glass panes at the crowd of brilliantly dressed people within. The handsomest of them all was a young Prince with big dark eyes. He could not be more than sixteen years old. It was his birthday and that was the reason for all the celebration. Up on deck the sailors were dancing, and when the Prince appeared among them a hundred or more rockets flew through the air, making it as bright as day. These startled the little mermaid so badly that she ducked under the water. But she soon peeped up again, and then it seemed as if all the stars in the sky were falling around her. Never had she seen such fireworks. Great suns spun around, splendid fire-fish floated through the blue air, and all these things were mirrored in the crystal clear sea. It was so brilliantly bright that you could see every little rope of the ship, and the people could be seen distinctly. Oh, how handsome the young Prince was! He laughed, and he smiled and shook people by the hand, while the music rang out in the perfect evening.

It got very late, but the little mermaid could not take her eyes off the ship and the handsome Prince. The brightly colored lanterns were put out, no more rockets flew through the air, and no more cannon boomed. But there was a mutter and rumble deep down in the sea, and the swell kept bouncing her up so high that she could look into the cabin.

Now the ship began to sail. Canvas after canvas was spread in the wind, the waves rose high, great clouds gathered, and lightning flashed in the distance. Ah, they were in for a terrible storm, and the mariners made haste to reef the sails. The tall ship pitched and rolled as it sped through the angry sea. The waves rose up like towering black mountains, as if they would break over the masthead, but the swan-like ship plunged into the valleys between such waves, and emerged to ride their lofty heights. To the little mermaid this seemed good sport, but to the sailors it was nothing of the sort. The ship creaked and labored, thick timbers gave way under the heavy blows, waves broke over the ship, the mainmast snapped in two like a reed, the ship listed over on its side, and water burst into the hold.

Now the little mermaid saw that people were in peril, and that she herself must take care to avoid the beams and wreckage tossed about by the sea. One moment it would be black as pitch, and she couldn't see a thing. Next moment the lightning would flash so brightly that she could distinguish every soul on board. Everyone was looking out for himself as best he could. She watched closely for the young Prince, and when the ship split in two she saw him sink down in the sea. At first she was overjoyed that he would be with her, but then she recalled that human people could not live under the water, and he could only visit her father's palace as a dead man. No, he should not die! So she swam in among all the floating planks and beams, completely forgetting that they might crush her. She dived through the waves and rode their crests, until at length she reached the young Prince, who was no longer able to swim in that raging sea. His arms and legs were exhausted, his beautiful eyes were closing, and he would have died if the little mermaid had not come to help him. She held his head above water, and let the waves take them wherever the waves went.

At daybreak, when the storm was over, not a trace of the ship was in view. The sun rose out of the waters, red and bright, and its beams seemed to bring the glow of life back to the cheeks of the Prince, but his eyes remained closed. The mermaid kissed his high and shapely forehead. As she stroked his wet hair in place, it seemed to her that he looked like that marble statue in her little garden. She kissed him again and hoped that he would live.

She saw dry land rise before her in high blue mountains, topped with snow as glistening white as if a flock of swans were resting there. Down by the shore were splendid green woods, and in the foreground stood a church, or perhaps a convent; she didn't know which, but anyway it was a building. Orange and lemon trees grew in its garden, and tall palm trees grew beside the gateway. Here the sea formed a little harbor, quite calm and very deep. Fine white sand had been washed up below the cliffs. She swam there with the handsome Prince, and stretched him out on the sand, taking special care to pillow his head up high in the warm sunlight.

The bells began to ring in the great white building, and a number of young girls came out into the garden. The little mermaid swam away behind some tall rocks that stuck out of the water. She covered her hair and her shoulders with foam so that no one could see her tiny face, and then she watched to see who would find the poor Prince.

In a little while one of the young girls came upon him. She seemed frightened, but only for a minute; then she called more people. The mermaid watched the Prince regain consciousness, and smile at everyone around him. But he did not smile at her, for he did not even know that she had saved him. She felt very unhappy, and when they led him away to the big building she dived sadly down into the water and returned to her father's palace.

She had always been quiet and wistful, and now she became much more so. Her sisters asked her what she had seen on her first visit up to the surface, but she would not tell them a thing.

Many evenings and many mornings she revisited the spot where she had left the Prince. She saw the fruit in the garden ripened and harvested, and she saw the snow on the high mountain melted away, but she did not see the Prince, so each time she came home sadder than she had left. It was her one consolation to sit in her little garden and throw her arms about the beautiful marble statue that looked so much like the Prince. But she took no care of her flowers now. They overgrew the paths until the place was a wilderness, and their long stalks and leaves became so entangled in the branches of the tree that it cast a gloomy shade.

Finally she couldn't bear it any longer. She told her secret to one of her sisters. Immediately all the other sisters heard about it. No one else knew, except a few more mermaids who told no one - except their most intimate friends. One of these friends knew who the Prince was. She too had seen the birthday celebration on the ship. She knew where he came from and where his kingdom was.

"Come, little sister!" said the other princesses. Arm in arm, they rose from the water in a long row, right in front of where they knew the Prince's palace stood. It was built of pale, glistening, golden stone with great marble staircases, one of which led down to the sea. Magnificent gilt domes rose above the roof, and between the pillars all around the building were marble statues that looked most lifelike. Through the clear glass of the lofty windows one could see into the splendid halls, with their costly silk hangings and tapestries, and walls covered with paintings that were delightful to behold. In the center of the main hall a large fountain played its columns of spray up to the glass-domed roof, through which the sun shone down on the water and upon the lovely plants that grew in the big basin.

Now that she knew where he lived, many an evening and many a night she spent there in the sea. She swam much closer to shore than any of her sisters would dare venture, and she even went far up a narrow stream, under the splendid marble balcony that cast its long shadow in the water. Here she used to sit and watch the young Prince when he thought himself quite alone in the bright moonlight.

On many evenings she saw him sail out in his fine boat, with music playing and flags a-flutter. She would peep out through the green rushes, and if the wind blew her long silver veil, anyone who saw it mistook it for a swan spreading its wings.

On many nights she saw the fishermen come out to sea with their torches, and heard them tell about how kind the young Prince was. This made her proud to think that it was she who had saved his life when he was buffeted about, half dead among the waves. And she thought of how softly his head had rested on her breast, and how tenderly she had kissed him, though he knew nothing of all this nor could he even dream of it.

Increasingly she grew to like human beings, and more and more she longed to live among them. Their world seemed so much wider than her own, for they could skim over the sea in ships, and mount up into the lofty peaks high over the clouds, and their lands stretched out in woods and fields farther than the eye could see. There was so much she wanted to know. Her sisters could not answer all her questions, so she asked her old grandmother, who knew about the "upper world," which was what she said was the right name for the countries above the sea.

"If men aren't drowned," the little mermaid asked, "do they live on forever? Don't they die, as we do down here in the sea?"

"Yes," the old lady said, "they too must die, and their lifetimes are even shorter than ours. We can live to be three hundred years old, but when we perish we turn into mere foam on the sea, and haven't even a grave down here among our dear ones. We have no immortal soul, no life hereafter. We are like the green seaweed - once cut down, it never grows again. Human beings, on the contrary, have a soul which lives forever, long after their bodies have turned to clay. It rises through thin air, up to the shining stars. Just as we rise through the water to see the lands on earth, so men rise up to beautiful places unknown, which we shall never see."

"Why weren't we given an immortal soul?" the little mermaid sadly asked. "I would gladly give up my three hundred years if I could be a human being only for a day, and later share in that heavenly realm."

"You must not think about that," said the old lady. "We fare much more happily and are much better off than the folk up there."

"Then I must also die and float as foam upon the sea, not hearing the music of the waves, and seeing neither the beautiful flowers nor the red sun! Can't I do anything at all to win an immortal soul?"

"No," her grandmother answered, "not unless a human being loved you so much that you meant more to him than his father and mother. If his every thought and his whole heart cleaved to you so that he would let a priest join his right hand to yours and would promise to be faithful here and throughout all eternity, then his soul would dwell in your body, and you would share in the happiness of mankind. He would give you a soul and yet keep his own. But that can never come to pass. The very thing that is your greatest beauty here in the sea - your fish tail - would be considered ugly on land. They have such poor taste that to be thought beautiful there you have to have two awkward props which they call legs."

The little mermaid sighed and looked unhappily at her fish tail.

"Come, let us be gay!" the old lady said. "Let us leap and bound throughout the three hundred years that we have to live. Surely that is time and to spare, and afterwards we shall be glad enough to rest in our graves. - We are holding a court ball this evening."

This was a much more glorious affair than is ever to be seen on earth. The walls and the ceiling of the great ballroom were made of massive but transparent glass. Many hundreds of huge rose-red and grass-green shells stood on each side in rows, with the blue flames that burned in each shell illuminating the whole room and shining through the walls so clearly that it was quite bright in the sea outside. You could see the countless fish, great and small, swimming toward the glass walls. On some of them the scales gleamed purplish-red, while others were silver and gold. Across the floor of the hall ran a wide stream of water, and upon this the mermaids and mermen danced to their own entrancing songs. Such beautiful voices are not to be heard among the people who live on land. The little mermaid sang more sweetly than anyone else, and everyone applauded her. For a moment her heart was happy, because she knew she had the loveliest voice of all, in the sea or on the land. But her thoughts soon strayed to the world up above. She could not forget the charming Prince, nor her sorrow that she did not have an immortal soul like his. Therefore she stole out of her father's palace and, while everything there was song and gladness, she sat sadly in her own little garden.

Then she heard a bugle call through the water, and she thought, "That must mean he is sailing up there, he whom I love more than my father or mother, he of whom I am always thinking, and in whose hands I would so willingly trust my lifelong happiness. I dare do anything to win him and to gain an immortal soul. While my sisters are dancing here, in my father's palace, I shall visit the sea witch of whom I have always been so afraid. Perhaps she will be able to advise me and help me."

The little mermaid set out from her garden toward the whirlpools that raged in front of the witch's dwelling. She had never gone that way before. No flowers grew there, nor any seaweed. Bare and gray, the sands extended to the whirlpools, where like roaring mill wheels the waters whirled and snatched everything within their reach down to the bottom of the sea. Between these tumultuous whirlpools she had to thread her way to reach the witch's waters, and then for a long stretch the only trail lay through a hot seething mire, which the witch called her peat marsh. Beyond it her house lay in the middle of a weird forest, where all the trees and shrubs were polyps, half animal and half plant. They looked like hundred-headed snakes growing out of the soil. All their branches were long, slimy arms, with fingers like wriggling worms. They squirmed, joint by joint, from their roots to their outermost tentacles, and whatever they could lay hold of they twined around and never let go. The little mermaid was terrified, and stopped at the edge of the forest. Her heart thumped with fear and she nearly turned back, but then she remembered the Prince and the souls that men have, and she summoned her courage. She bound her long flowing locks closely about her head so that the polyps could not catch hold of them, folded her arms across her breast, and darted through the water like a fish, in among the slimy polyps that stretched out their writhing arms and fingers to seize her. She saw that every one of them held something that it had caught with its hundreds of little tentacles, and to which it clung as with strong hoops of steel. The white bones of men who had perished at sea and sunk to these depths could be seen in the polyps' arms. Ships' rudders, and seamen's chests, and the skeletons of land animals had also fallen into their clutches, but the most ghastly sight of all was a little mermaid whom they had caught and strangled.

She reached a large muddy clearing in the forest, where big fat water snakes slithered about, showing their foul yellowish bellies. In the middle of this clearing was a house built of the bones of shipwrecked men, and there sat the sea witch, letting a toad eat out of her mouth just as we might feed sugar to a little canary bird. She called the ugly fat water snakes her little chickabiddies, and let them crawl and sprawl about on her spongy bosom.

"I know exactly what you want," said the sea witch. "It is very foolish of you, but just the same you shall have your way, for it will bring you to grief, my proud princess. You want to get rid of your fish tail and have two props instead, so that you can walk about like a human creature, and have the young Prince fall in love with you, and win him and an immortal soul besides." At this, the witch gave such a loud cackling laugh that the toad and the snakes were shaken to the ground, where they lay writhing.

"You are just in time," said the witch. "After the sun comes up tomorrow, a whole year would have to go by before I could be of any help to you. J shall compound you a draught, and before sunrise you must swim to the shore with it, seat yourself on dry land, and drink the draught down. Then your tail will divide and shrink until it becomes what the people on earth call a pair of shapely legs. But it will hurt; it will feel as if a sharp sword slashed through you. Everyone who sees you will say that you are the most graceful human being they have ever laid eyes on, for you will keep your gliding movement and no dancer will be able to tread as lightly as you. But every step you take will feel as if you were treading upon knife blades so sharp that blood must flow. I am willing to help you, but are you willing to suffer all this?"

"Yes," the little mermaid said in a trembling voice, as she thought of the Prince and of gaining a human soul.

"Remember!" said the witch. "Once you have taken a human form, you can never be a mermaid again. You can never come back through the waters to your sisters, or to your father's palace. And if you do not win the love of the Prince so completely that for your sake he forgets his father and mother, cleaves to you with his every thought and his whole heart, and lets the priest join your hands in marriage, then you will win no immortal soul. If he marries someone else, your heart will break on the very next morning, and you will become foam of the sea."

"I shall take that risk," said the little mermaid, but she turned as pale as death.

"Also, you will have to pay me," said the witch, "and it is no trifling price that I'm asking. You have the sweetest voice of anyone down here at the bottom of the sea, and while I don't doubt that you would like to captivate the Prince with it, you must give this voice to me. I will take the very best thing that you have, in return for my sovereign draught. I must pour my own blood in it to make the drink as sharp as a two-edged sword."

"But if you take my voice," said the little mermaid, "what will be left to me?"

"Your lovely form," the witch told her, "your gliding movements, and your eloquent eyes. With these you can easily enchant a human heart. Well, have you lost your courage? Stick out your little tongue and I shall cut it off. I'll have my price, and you shall have the potent draught."

"Go ahead," said the little mermaid.

The witch hung her caldron over the flames, to brew the draught. "Cleanliness is a good thing," she said, as she tied her snakes in a knot and scoured out the pot with them. Then she pricked herself in the chest and let her black blood splash into the caldron. Steam swirled up from it, in such ghastly shapes that anyone would have been terrified by them. The witch constantly threw new ingredients into the caldron, and it started to boil with a sound like that of a crocodile shedding tears. When the draught was ready at last, it looked as clear as the purest water.

"There's your draught," said the witch. And she cut off the tongue of the little mermaid, who now was dumb and could neither sing nor talk.

"If the polyps should pounce on you when you walk back through my wood," the witch said, "just spill a drop of this brew upon them and their tentacles will break in a thousand pieces." But there was no need of that, for the polyps curled up in terror as soon as they saw the bright draught. It glittered in the little mermaid's hand as if it were a shining star. So she soon traversed the forest, the marsh, and the place of raging whirlpools.

She could see her father's palace. The lights had been snuffed out in the great ballroom, and doubtless everyone in the palace was asleep, but she dared not go near them, now that she was stricken dumb and was leaving her home forever. Her heart felt as if it would break with grief. She tip-toed into the garden, took one flower from each of her sisters' little plots, blew a thousand kisses toward the palace, and then mounted up through the dark blue sea.

The sun had not yet risen when she saw the Prince's palace. As she climbed his splendid marble staircase, the moon was shining clear. The little mermaid swallowed the bitter, fiery draught, and it was as if a two-edged sword struck through her frail body. She swooned away, and lay there as if she were dead. When the sun rose over the sea she awoke and felt a flash of pain, but directly in front of her stood the handsome young Prince, gazing at her with his coal-black eyes. Lowering her gaze, she saw that her fish tail was gone, and that she had the loveliest pair of white legs any young maid could hope to have. But she was naked, so she clothed herself in her own long hair.

The Prince asked who she was, and how she came to be there. Her deep blue eyes looked at him tenderly but very sadly, for she could not speak. Then he took her hand and led her into his palace. Every footstep felt as if she were walking on the blades and points of sharp knives, just as the witch had foretold, but she gladly endured it. She moved as lightly as a bubble as she walked beside the Prince. He and all who saw her marveled at the grace of her gliding walk.

Once clad in the rich silk and muslin garments that were provided for her, she was the loveliest person in all the palace, though she was dumb and could neither sing nor speak. Beautiful slaves, attired in silk and cloth of gold, came to sing before the Prince and his royal parents. One of them sang more sweetly than all the others, and when the Prince smiled at her and clapped his hands, the little mermaid felt very unhappy, for she knew that she herself used to sing much more sweetly.

"Oh," she thought, "if he only knew that I parted with my voice forever so that I could be near him."

Graceful slaves now began to dance to the most wonderful music. Then the little mermaid lifted her shapely white arms, rose up on the tips of her toes, and skimmed over the floor. No one had ever danced so well. Each movement set off her beauty to better and better advantage, and her eyes spoke more directly to the heart than any of the singing slaves could do.

She charmed everyone, and especially the Prince, who called her his dear little foundling. She danced time and again, though every time she touched the floor she felt as if she were treading on sharp-edged steel. The Prince said he would keep her with him always, and that she was to have a velvet pillow to sleep on outside his door.

He had a page's suit made for her, so that she could go with him on horseback. They would ride through the sweet scented woods, where the green boughs brushed her shoulders, and where the little birds sang among the fluttering leaves.

She climbed up high mountains with the Prince, and though her tender feet bled so that all could see it, she only laughed and followed him on until they could see the clouds driving far below, like a flock of birds in flight to distant lands.

At home in the Prince's palace, while the others slept at night, she would go down the broad marble steps to cool her burning feet in the cold sea water, and then she would recall those who lived beneath the sea. One night her sisters came by, arm in arm, singing sadly as they breasted the waves. When she held out her hands toward them, they knew who she was, and told her how unhappy she had made them all. They came to see her every night after that, and once far, far out to sea, she saw her old grandmother, who had not been up to the surface this many a year. With her was the sea king, with his crown upon his head. They stretched out their hands to her, but they did not venture so near the land as her sisters had.

Day after day she became more dear to the Prince, who loved her as one would love a good little child, but he never thought of making her his Queen. Yet she had to be his wife or she would never have an immortal soul, and on the morning after his wedding she would turn into foam on the waves.

"Don't you love me best of all?" the little mermaid's eyes seemed to question him, when he took her in his arms and kissed her lovely forehead.

"Yes, you are most dear to me," said the Prince, "for you have the kindest heart. You love me more than anyone else does, and you look so much like a young girl I once saw but never shall find again. I was on a ship that was wrecked, and the waves cast me ashore near a holy temple, where many young girls performed the rituals. The youngest of them found me beside the sea and saved my life. Though I saw her no more than twice, she is the only person in all the world whom I could love. But you are so much like her that you almost replace the memory of her in my heart. She belongs to that holy temple, therefore it is my good fortune that I have you. We shall never part."

"Alas, he doesn't know it was I who saved his life," the little mermaid thought. "I carried him over the sea to the garden where the temple stands. I hid behind the foam and watched to see if anyone would come. I saw the pretty maid he loves better than me." A sigh was the only sign of her deep distress, for a mermaid cannot cry. "He says that the other maid belongs to the holy temple. She will never come out into the world, so they will never see each other again. It is I who will care for him, love him, and give all my life to him."

Now rumors arose that the Prince was to wed the beautiful daughter of a neighboring King, and that it was for this reason he was having such a superb ship made ready to sail. The rumor ran that the Prince's real interest in visiting the neighboring kingdom was to see the King's daughter, and that he was to travel with a lordly retinue. The little mermaid shook her head and smiled, for she knew the Prince's thoughts far better than anyone else did.

"I am forced to make this journey," he told her. "I must visit the beautiful Princess, for this is my parents' wish, but they would not have me bring her home as my bride against my own will, and I can never love her. She does not resemble the lovely maiden in the temple, as you do, and if I were to choose a bride, I would sooner choose you, my dear mute foundling with those telling eyes of yours." And he kissed her on the mouth, fingered her long hair, and laid his head against her heart so that she came to dream of mortal happiness and an immortal soul.

"I trust you aren't afraid of the sea, my silent child ' he said, as they went on board the magnificent vessel that was to carry them to the land of the neighboring King. And he told her stories of storms, of ships becalmed, of strange deep-sea fish, and of the wonders that divers have seen. She smiled at such stories, for no one knew about the bottom of the sea as well as she did.

In the clear moonlight, when everyone except the man at the helm was asleep, she sat on the side of the ship gazing down through the transparent water, and fancied she could catch glimpses of her father's palace. On the topmost tower stood her old grandmother, wearing her silver crown and looking up at the keel of the ship through the rushing waves. Then her sisters rose to the surface, looked at her sadly, and wrung their white hands. She smiled and waved, trying to let them know that all went well and that she was happy. But along came the cabin boy, and her sisters dived out of sight so quickly that the boy supposed the flash of white he had seen was merely foam on the sea.

Next morning the ship came in to the harbor of the neighboring King's glorious city. All the church bells chimed, and trumpets were sounded from all the high towers, while the soldiers lined up with flying banners and glittering bayonets. Every day had a new festivity, as one ball or levee followed another, but the Princess was still to appear. They said she was being brought up in some far-away sacred temple, where she was learning every royal virtue. But she came at last.

The little mermaid was curious to see how beautiful this Princess was, and she had to grant that a more exquisite figure she had never seen. The Princess's skin was clear and fair, and behind the long, dark lashes her deep blue eyes were smiling and devoted.

"It was you!" the Prince cried. "You are the one who saved me when I lay like a dead man beside the sea." He clasped the blushing bride of his choice in his arms. "Oh, I am happier than a man should be!" he told his little mermaid. "My fondest dream - that which I never dared to hope - has come true. You will share in my great joy, for you love me more than anyone does."

The little mermaid kissed his hand and felt that her heart was beginning to break. For the morning after his wedding day would see her dead and turned to watery foam.

All the church bells rang out, and heralds rode through the streets to announce the wedding. Upon every altar sweet-scented oils were burned in costly silver lamps. The priests swung their censers, the bride and the bridegroom joined their hands, and the bishop blessed their marriage. The little mermaid, clothed in silk and cloth of gold, held the bride's train, but she was deaf to the wedding march and blind to the holy ritual. Her thought turned on her last night upon earth, and on all she had lost in this world.

That same evening, the bride and bridegroom went aboard the ship. Cannon thundered and banners waved. On the deck of the ship a royal pavilion of purple and gold was set up, and furnished with luxurious cushions. Here the wedded couple were to sleep on that calm, clear night. The sails swelled in the breeze, and the ship glided so lightly that it scarcely seemed to move over the quiet sea. All nightfall brightly colored lanterns were lighted, and the mariners merrily danced on the deck. The little mermaid could not forget that first time she rose from the depths of the sea and looked on at such pomp and happiness. Light as a swallow pursued by his enemies, she joined in the whirling dance. Everyone cheered her, for never had she danced so wonderfully. Her tender feet felt as if they were pierced by daggers, but she did not feel it. Her heart suffered far greater pain. She knew that this was the last evening that she ever would see him for whom she had forsaken her home and family, for whom she had sacrificed her lovely voice and suffered such constant torment, while he knew nothing of all these things. It was the last night that she would breathe the same air with him, or look upon deep waters or the star fields of the blue sky. A never-ending night, without thought and without dreams, awaited her who had no soul and could not get one. The merrymaking lasted long after midnight, yet she laughed and danced on despite the thought of death she carried in her heart. The Prince kissed his beautiful bride and she toyed with his coal-black hair. Hand in hand, they went to rest in the magnificent pavilion.

A hush came over the ship. Only the helmsman remained on deck as the little mermaid leaned her white arms on the bulwarks and looked to the east to see the first red hint of daybreak, for she knew that the first flash of the sun would strike her dead. Then she saw her sisters rise up among the waves. They were as pale as she, and there was no sign of their lovely long hair that the breezes used to blow. It had all been cut off.

'We have given our hair to the witch," they said, "so that she would send you help, and save you from death tonight. She gave us a knife. Here it is. See the sharp blade! Before the sun rises, you must strike it into the Prince's heart, and when his warm blood bathes your feet they will grow together and become a fish tail. Then you will be a mermaid again, able to come back to us in the sea, and live out your three hundred years before you die and turn into dead salt sea foam. Make haste! He or you must die before sunrise. Our old grandmother is so grief-stricken that her white hair is falling fast, just as ours did under the witch's scissors. Kill the Prince and come back to us. Hurry! Hurry! See that red glow in the heavens! In a few minutes the sun will rise and you must die." So saying, they gave a strange deep sigh and sank beneath the waves.

The little mermaid parted the purple curtains of the tent and saw the beautiful bride asleep with her head on the Prince's breast. The mermaid bent down and kissed his shapely forehead. She looked at the sky, fast reddening for the break of day. She looked at the sharp knife and again turned her eyes toward the Prince, who in his sleep murmured the name of his bride. His thoughts were all for her, and the knife blade trembled in the mermaid's hand. But then she flung it from her, far out over the waves. Where it fell the waves were red, as if bubbles of blood seethed in the water. With eyes already glazing she looked once more at the Prince, hurled herself over the bulwarks into the sea, and felt her body dissolve in foam.

The sun rose up from the waters. Its beams fell, warm and kindly, upon the chill sea foam, and the little mermaid did not feel the hand of death. In the bright sunlight overhead,she saw hundreds of fair ethereal beings. They were so transparent that through them she could see the ship's white sails and the red clouds in the sky. Their voices were sheer music, but so spirit-like that no human ear could detect the sound, just as no eye on earth could see their forms. Without wings, they floated as light as the air itself. The little mermaid discovered that she was shaped like them, and that she was gradually rising up out of the foam.

'Who are you, toward whom I rise?" she asked, and her voice sounded like those above her, so spiritual that no music on earth could match it.

"We are the daughters of the air," they answered. "A mermaid has no immortal soul, and can never get one unless she wins the love of a human being. Her eternal life must depend upon a power outside herself. The daughters of the air do not have an immortal soul either, but they can earn one by their good deeds. We fly to the south, where the hot poisonous air kills human beings unless we bring cool breezes. We carry the scent of flowers through the air, bringing freshness and healing balm wherever we go. When for three hundred years we have tried to do all the good that we can, we are given an immortal soul and a share in mankind's eternal bliss. You, poor little mermaid, have tried with your whole heart to do this too. Your suffering and your loyalty have raised you up into the realm of airy spirits, and now in the course of three hundred years you may earn by your good deeds a soul that will never die."

The little mermaid lifted her clear bright eyes toward God's sun, and for the first time her eyes were wet with tears.

On board the ship all was astir and lively again. She saw the Prince and his fair bride in search of her. Then they gazed sadly into the seething foam, as if they knew she had hurled herself into the waves. Unseen by them, she kissed the bride's forehead, smiled upon the Prince, and rose up with the other daughters of the air to the rose-red clouds that sailed on high.

"This is the way that we shall rise to the kingdom of God, after three hundred years have passed."

"We may get there even sooner," one spirit whispered. "Unseen, we fly into the homes of men, where there are children, and for every day on which we find a good child who pleases his parents and deserves their love, God shortens our days of trial. The child does not know when we float through his room, but when we smile at him in approval one year is taken from our three hundred. But if we see a naughty, mischievous child we must shed tears of sorrow, and each tear adds a day to the time of our trial."

Got this from this LINK.

Not all fairy tales ends in "happily ever after" like in life's reality.

Believe What I Say About Guys



I have been in a relationship for the past 4 years, 2 months and 16 days. Before committing ourselves into a deeper relationship of girlfriend-boyfriend, we dated for approximately 20 days. We did not have any formal courtship but we lasted for this long.

During my childhood days, I am surrounded by boys. They are my playmates and my hero. I have learned so many things about guys because of them. They taught me how to defend myself when someone's mocking me. They protect me from my haters and they love me just like their little sister.

So I can say that I am an EXPERT when it comes to guys. I am one of those lucky people who knows what to do with them.

I am a critic when it comes to men. I can easily smell when they are just playing games and when they are serious enough to make commitments. I know when they are serious enough to hold on to what they have started out with you.

Sometimes, men do not know how to take good care of good women. They are the playboys. They just want to play around and take advantage of a woman's weakness. Chances are, when your that kind of woman who is not strong enough, you'd be dumped away, feeling used over and over again. They are annoying creatures.



Some men are too obnoxious and confident. I have this one friend who is boastful about his looks. He is a short guy. But he's dating hot girls- sexy and gorgeous looking girls. He hadn't have any serious relationship because he is too annoying. He just want to play games with girls. Until now, he ask for my advice on how to court girls. The hell with you!

Sometimes, guys feel too good about their selves. They think that every girl would love to play games with them. They collect and collect and collect girls as much as they could but when they grew tired with one girl, they will just dump them and jump to another innocent-good-looking girl whom they could play with. They treat women as toys.

Guys like toys. They like games and plays. I've been in and out of relationships before. They are ass-holes. Because they never grow up, they are slow to mature and they f*ck at apologizing and understanding girls. But I have learned that game.

They also are intrigued with what girls think about them. And when they do, they try to avoid being wholesome and make some tactics. (I know those tactics you know.)

Some guys are just too insensitive. Like my boyfriend. Espie, my good friend would always tell me that that engineering guys are like that. (FYI, my boyfriend is a graduate of Electrical Engineering). But I think this is because he is just too preoccupied with things that is bothering him. He is sensitive at times and he just want me to directly speak up and tell him what I feel about him.

Some guys are just jerks. These guys are plays safe and tells sweet things to girls they like and when they sense that the girl is falling into their trap, they would just get the crap out of them and play with you. These are the two timers, playboys. Guys who are too aggressive and play sweet at first, then would hurt you eventually.

They love to touch and tease you. They love to come and go. They start something but girls end up finishing it.

I befriend guys. I love to befriend them actually. I learn a lot of things about them. They are of different types. The jerks and the lovers. The serious ones and the play timers. Some can give true love, some are capable of inflicting pain and hate. Lovers, jerks, serious, play-timers, love and hate. Guys.

They are hard to please and hard to love. Being in a 4 year relationship, (and other nonsense relationships with non sense jerks) I've learned my lessons about them. Love but never give everything. Like them and just enjoy that feeling. But remember to take a time and look at their weakness so you can enter easily and have a lasting relationship with them.

With me, I'm already immune with them. I just adjust and study them. They are my most precious specimen. I've been loving that same guy over and over again for 4 years because I've learn to play his game. A game that kept us loving each other and understanding each others flaws.

I have a good read here about girls hating things about guys.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I Want You Back

I am not perfect. I have my own flaws. I am clumsy and disoriented at times but I am still hoping for someone to understand those flaws and accept me for who I am.

I am a nobody. I am not as popular as those TV stars. I am not prepared to be the center of anyone's attention but I am ready to be accepted and be loved.

I am struggling hard to be with you. But you never tried to help me during the fall of sadness. I am doing things but I don't feel appreciated.

I do not intend to get all your attention, but you forget to tell me things you know I'd love to hear. I know you care about me but I still am not feeling it. I know you love me but please try to talk with me.

Sometimes, I feel like just an accessory. A wallpaper. An excess of your life. I love you but please be sensitive enough to know that I am hurting so bad.

I miss the old you. I miss the old us. *tears*

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Oh Christmas! You are Coming Near.

People are now very exhausted buying and wrapping gifts, thinking for the best foods to prepare during Noche Buena,and making the best program during parties that they will be hosting. Christmas is coming in just 5 (five) more days.

Most people are now making their last minute shopping of gifts for their godchildren and many children are done with their Christmas parties and are now enjoying their Christmas vacation. Some people (like me) who doesn't have Christmas vacation are wishing to have a break even a day or two just to celebrate the Filipino Christmas.

It is nice to hear the church bells ringing early in the morning for the Misa de Gallo. People go to church to attend mass and this is the 9 day novena making the countdown of the birth of Jesus.

Puto bumbong, bibingka, hot chocolate, tea and hot coffee- these are the best part of Misa de Gallo, or Simbang Gabi. Food is really one of the best part of being a Filipino. We come together and feast with lots of food being prepared and enjoyed by many.

Gift giving is one of the highlights of Christmas celebration most especially for little children. They are expecting Santa Claus to come into their house and leave a present underneath their Christmas tree. They also prepare Christmas socks into where Santa can also drop their gifts.

People are also looking forward to Christmas carolers that will sing in front of their house during Christmas. It is very relaxing to hear Christmas carols in the air.

Christmas is only 5 days away. People are now making their very best to make this Christmas one of the best holidays of the year. And for Filipinos, Christmas is the time to spend more moments with their loved ones.

Let us all celebrate a fruitful Christmas this year. Have a Merry Christmas to all and wishing you a very Happy and Prosperous New Year ahead! :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Corporate Part of my World


This made my day. It was crazy hanging out with people that has the same wave length as yours. Giving you the freedom to express yourself even though you are bounded by company rules. Cool people that made your working career turn upside down in the right and fun way.

They are the ones that uplift the stressful workplace that we are in. In their midst, dull moments are never entertained.

Thanks for making me feel secured and loved. The fun times will always be treasured.

I love you!

*Laughing out loud*

Monday, December 6, 2010

MY CHRISTMAS WISHLIST

I still have the kid-heart of making Christmas wish list because believe it or not, I still want to remind Santa Claus that I have been a very good child for the past years. I still believe that Santa Claus will ride on his sleigh that will be pulled by his reindeers led by Rudolph.

Christmas is all about kids. And because I am still a kid-at-heart, I will still make my wish list. Hope Santa reads this and gives me something from the list that I have made.

1. Netbook/Laptop



2. Apple's Ipod (It can be an Ipod Touch or a Nano)



3. Book: The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo



4. A new Watch



5. An External Hard Drive



6. Dress(es)





7. a pair of Red Stilettos



8. Portable Broadband Internet



Woah! Many of them are electronic gadgets. Since when have I got the interest with gadgets and stuffs? Anyway, That's all I want for Christmas.

Love,

Joanne

Monday, November 29, 2010

And Now I am an Online Seller- PERFECT WHITE SHIRTS FOR SALE!

I am now venturing to another world. Extending my skills to another phase. I am now pursuing a business career. (Yeah. I am now a business woman. Hahaha)

Anyway, I just want to feel how it is to make money out of selling something. It won't hurt to try anyway.

Feel free to visit my online shop's page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Teezum-Shop/141757032538865?ref=sgm

Happy Shopping! ♥

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My Life's Best [Part3]

Thinking of the best people in my life made me realize that I have been overlooking about my family. They are in fact one of the bestest (if there is such a word) people in my life. They helped me in many ways and they never gave up on me.

Through out my 22 years of existence on earth, They were the one who never left me alone. They gave me courage and hope when I have none. They make me smile though a lot of times, they annoy me. Haha.



They are my saving grace. They love me for who I am and accepted me with all my flaws. They are my best buds.



My parents are the best providers. They never fail to give us our allowances. Hahaha. But I do love them both. ☺

My sisters and brothers are my friends when we are in the mood for it. Oftentimes, we have our differences and arguments, we still managed to give each other a chance to change.



My family made my life anew. They give meaning to it and they are the reason why I am working hard. To help them in everyway I can.



I love you guys. You are all simply the best! ☺ ♥

Monday, November 22, 2010

LET THE CHILDREN EXPERIENCE THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS

Christmas time is a time of sharing giving gifts to those people that needs caring and something that they could use as a motivation in pursuing life's adventures.

I came from a middle-class family. I had a life that is quite affluent. My dad provides for all our needs and my mom have her "side lines". This made us abundant with blessings.



Every Christmas since I was just a little girl, I often see those children on the streets. I was curious on how they celebrate their Christmas- Do they receive gifts? New clothes? I often wonder how they have been managing to live on the streets begging for money or something to eat?

I am also intrigued with those parents ho manage to leave their child at an early age. Infants need their mothers to nourish them as they grow but with the case of some orphaned children, they have been in the nursing homes from the day that they were born. This is a sad reality.



This Christmas, I want to share something for these children. A single present that they will enjoy even for a short span of time. An event that will give them hope. An event that will let them know that someone loves and cares for them.

Let the children experience the true meaning of Christmas. An event for a cause. This is my simple way of appreciating their existence in this world. That they are needed and will be loved. That they are remembered. Christmas is for kids like them. They are the reason why Jesus once said, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” Children are the most favorable citizens of heaven because of their innocence and strong faith.

I want to share the best reason why we should be celebrating Christmas with them- because they are the ones who needs the most love and affection.

*credits:
The pictures are not mine, I got them from Google. I haven't have time to capture shots. :)
The poster was made by Mr. Bernard Joseph Or.

Urge to Write and Travel

I suddenly felt weird after watching "Eat. Pray. Love." I want to travel and write about it. Actually it was my original dream. I wanted to a write about places and the good things we can see in them. I want to be a lifestyle writer.



But I don't regret being just a plain writer. Hey! I still get a living out of the things that I have learned in school. I still have my own style. I still write.

I want to travel and write at the same time. Next year, I will start that dream. I will try to visit places I haven't been since the day I was born. I will travel all over the Philippines and write about the good things that I see in every place. I will conquer every island and write about them.



Wish I have enough funds for this dream but who knows, I will become of the best travel writers in the Philippines. Or if it's not too much, one of the best in the whole world. Haha.

Too much of my dreams. Now I need to pursue them! ☺

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I TALK too MUCH

"You talk to much," Paul said. "but I still love you." ♥

Sweet words from my most wonderful boyfriend. But hell yeah! I talk too much. Especially when I have sore throat or some sort of sickness that involves colds and coughs, I talk too much. I don't know how I manage to do that but I'm proud of myself. Haha.

For once, I became very talkative and I manage to talk even though I have difficulty of doing so. I talk too much because I would want to hear myself while having that husky bedroom voice. But in the end, I would start complaining about my sore throat and then the cycle continues. ♥

My Christmas Wishlist

Christmas is coming fast that is why I have decided doing my own Christmas wish list. I still believe in Santa. An I assume that there's internet connection up in North Pole, I know he'll be reading this.☺

Here's my list:
1. a new laptop
2. a car
3. an apartment of my own
4. a dress, even a simple one. I saw a dress at St. Francis Square last Friday.☺
5. a set of new books
6. a vacation. (a real vacation that doesn't require me to go to work)
7. a new bag
8. a new pair of shoes.☺


I can't think of many things for my wish list.O_o

Well, anyway, I still have many more days to complete my wish list. Please Santa, even one of those I'd greatly appreciate.♥

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Life's Experiences

Things just doesn't come our way. That is why we need to learn how to deal with them to avoid having unwanted outcomes that will lead you to your own downfall. Every mistakes are lessons learned and every wasted time is a wasted memory.

A simple tap on the shoulder for a job well done. A simple smile from strangers you see while walking your way to your office. Those simple "Good Morning" greetings from guards along the hallway of your building. The simple talks of life. The simple unexpected gestures of appreciation. The simple you. The simple us. This is what life stands for.

The series of events that we experience of our lives makes us have the best experience and they are the ones that makes who we are right now. It leads to a conclusion that we always have to experience things before we get the knowledge that we need to have.



Sometimes people have their own understanding of learning through experiences. This makes it very difficult to focus and very hard to understand. We are unable to maintain a standard thinking on a single matter due because we are pressured to learn something from what everything that we experience.

Moreover, a lot of people tend to cling their selves into the notion that everything can be learned through having experiences-- which is most of the time, becoming their reason of doing things in anyway they could. This is a wrong notion. People might get hurt when they try things without thinking before doing them. It happened to me and I regretted them.

I read a lot. I travel most of the time and I, in a bit, have experienced a lot. I have learned through all the mistakes that I have experienced and I am satisfied with what I came to be. In the past years of my life, I have been wanting things that are very impossible for me to achieve. Things that are actually not coming my way most of the time but I don't think that's an enough reason to bewildered. It it can be my starting point of another exciting surprises.

Experience is great. It helps us mold ourselves into something better. But sometimes, due to not-so-good experiences, we become worst. The learning part is that, on whatever experience that you had, it is a good deal to make things right by becoming right. ☺

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Christmas Time is Here!

Every now and then, when I see that the calender would happen to be in the months of September, October, and November, the only thing that I have in mind is that Christmas is already coming fast!



Christmas in the Philippines usually starts on December 16 up until the celebration of the Epiphany which is usually on the second week of January. That's how long Christmas is celebrated here in the Philippines.

The Simbang Gabi, Noche Buena and Carolings are all part of the Christmas tradition that all Filipinos are used to.

The Philippine Christmas will not be complete without the festive celebration with the rest of the clan. Family reunions are very common in this time of the day because it is when they come together to celebrate a very special event of the year- the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.


In our family, traditionally we celebrate Christmas and New year with the rest of our relatives but as time pass, we don not have enough time to celebrate together. I am planning to have a get together sort of Christmas Party for our family. Hope I works.

For now, I'll be saving money so I can do these things smoothly.☺

Saturday, November 13, 2010

My Life's Best [Part 2]

Friends are one of the treasures that we have.When we have friends,we are considered as one of the richest people in the world.

I have plenty of them. Not much but they are the treasured people that I can have for the rest of my life.

Dianne A. Claveria- my ultimate bestfriend.

We have known each other for the past 13 years? or 14. I'm not that sure but I am pretty sure that we've been through a lot. Since 4th grade up until now, we are still inseparable. We had lots of memories. We were together at almost all the time.

Not when we entered high school. We went to different schools. We didn't have enough time to catch up with each other due to conflicting schedules that we had. Nonetheless, we still communicate when we have time. I often go to their house during weekends and the same with her. We were still able to make a connection even though we are far apart from each other.

I was there when she had her first boyfriend. I witnessed how much she cried over her first break-up. She was also the first to know about me having my first boyfriend and also saw me grieve over my first break up. She consoled me and made me realize that I still have her.

Now that we have our own careers as professionals, with future plans, we still are sticking to each other no matter what.

I am thankful for having her in my life. She made my roller coaster life a smooth one. Being far is not an excuse. When someone is stuck in your heart, you will never put him/her out of it. We are like sister-only with different parents.

I love you besh.

And I had the WORST WEEK EVER!

All things were screwed up. From home to work. I never felt I made something perfect or something even close to that. I swear. I will never get that same disappointment and failures this coming week.

Monday- I was almost late for work because of the Philippines' all-so-famous TRAFFIC JAM! At work, I wasn't able to finish a decent article. I need to revise a lot of article.

Tuesday- I was raining hard. So I think that will sum it all up.

Wednesday- I was so depressed about something very personal.

Thursday- THE HELL DAY! I don't have enough money for the day. The money that I was waiting for was delayed due to some I-don't-know-what-happened. At work, a client became very upset about something and nagged around to the point that it came into my nerves and I didn't have time to finish working on his stupid article.

Friday- Quite okay, but still not that good.

Saturday- I was all screwed up with emails from protesting bloggers because of the stupid sample packs that they have received from the company that I am representing. And another event made me feel so upset.

Oh please. I had enough for the week. Can next week be something that I can look forward to? I'm so tired.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

My Life's Best


Nowadays, people do not have the luxury to say "Thank You" to those who have touched one's life and made a big mark in one's heart. This month, I have decided to make simple write ups about those people who have been a part of the life that I am living in right now.

First stop: Mr. Christian Paul M. Justiniano- The stranger who helped me in many ways.

4 years and still counting... We started out as stranger and then friends, and then as my *clears throat* special someone. ☺

We are of total opposites: He majors in Math, I love to write. He love online games, I hate them the most. He likes sweets, I prefer sour and salty. We complement each other, as other friends would tell me.

We had a long distance relationship for the past years and it was very difficult for us. The only communication that we had was through SMS and from time to time, phone calls. We go out on weekends yet time flies amazingly fast when I am with him.

He is there when I needed a friend and a brother. Though physically, he is not one of those macho guys, but I still am considering him as my HERO. He helped me developed more confidence. Paul is just one of the people who made a difference in my life- the people who loved me without any pretentions and led me to a straightened path of love and hope.

He keeps on encouraging me when I have no one else left. He comforted me during the times that I needed one. He is always there to tell me that everything will going to be okay. He made me mature enough to handle failures and rejoices with me during my success.

Over the years that we have been together, the bond that we have became closer. Time may pass but remember that I will always cherish all the days that I’ll be with you. Thank you and I love you.

*I got the picture from Paul's Facebook account, taken and tagged by Ms. Donna Kiritharan